Sunday, December 21, 2008

Wait another day.

What's worse? Knowing that you brought this on yourself? Or just standing back and watching it happen. So tired of this world and everything in it. The loneliness creeps into my bones as cold, disguised as yet another summer. 24 notches on my belt. I can't reach out. I reach inside more and more. Shutting myself off. Shutting myself out. Shutting all of the doors and windows. A prisoner of my own design.

Tears fall corrupted. Drowning in self pity, flailing in the shallow of self respect. I will wait for you to return. To pull you apart again. To pull myself down.

Drinking myself into the bottom of another glass bottle. Bleeding into my own hands. flailing, crying, screaming for respite. From myself.

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