in this heart

Give me a razor and I will show you my pain.

Exhaust Fumes.

I found a letter,

From your lover in the glove box

And I carved the words - onto your arm

As my heart beat languid with the exhaust fumes

And my eyes turned black.

I turned inside, fell against the door.

Fell down and cried.

My heart beating with exhausted fumes.

Cresent Moon.

I am haunted by myself

my own stupidity

this always wanting - this hunger - this thirst.

Fill this emptiness inside of me.

Desperate need for approval, for love, for affection.

A mother's touch is never enough.

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I ,I  ,,,,,,,,,,,,

am fucking lost and bound and sick with regret.

lost, drow

DEV.A -STATION.

Here comes the Black Cloud.

Hot water runs and blinds.

The red of you.

The Rage of you.
The Hate of you.
The Bitter you you you.

Here comes the Red Rage.
Here comes the Black Stage.

Don't let it go just yet, giving up is not the same as letting go.

Breathless Abandon.

You're a lush

and so broken
and vulnerable
and screaming out for validation.

You're a wreck
and everything I prey on

You are desire
and all the screaming, breatheless abandon that comes with it.

You're exposed
and I've closed my sights on you

You're a lush
and benetah it all...

I'm lost in you.

You're a lush
and I just wish you were mine.

Untitled

You don't know what it is to pick yourself up from this - to gather strength, move on.
You don't know what it is to cure the cancer that eats at your heart - because the way you're treating it - is the same fucking way it got there to begin with.
You don't know what it takes - to lay it on the line, to risk, to run.

You don't know.

+ I'm the stupid wounded girl, with the stupid wounded heart, that lay it all down, that chose not to fight, for once. That chose - instead of being chosen.


+ I guess, in the end - baby, if I'm stupid, then you're just bad for business.

In the grand scheme of things.

There's that old feeling. The clouds roll in, threatening rain.

Death of.

Destruction of.


There's that old voice again, dripping with Premium Stolen Vodka - it's just this once.
You're that little girl again - wanting someone to notice, someone to love, someone to

staystaystaypleasestayandneverleavemestaystaystay

So, once the other shoe has dropped and you've gotten what you wanted what then?

GLASSGLASSGLASS

a million and one verses over a million and one miles met a million and one tears, over two long years; you're still right here.

Now you tell you want to change, crying into the phone, you tell me I'm your everything, tell me it's not the same.

I want to tell you that my heart bleeds for you, that it's ok, you're forgiven.
I want to tell you that I love only you, you're the one. OTL.
I want to tell you that I'm not jealous of his Melbourne life, the life that was destined for me.
I want to tell you everything, break the silence.
I want to rush, jump, fall back into you.

mindless absolution

GLASGLASSGLASSGLASS

I want to break and cry + shatter around you, to be put back together with you.

TURPENTINE TEARS

finally I've realised

I am happy within him
and not without him

resistance is futile
I can't do this alone

and that everything that holds me back is holding me because I, and I alone let it......

it's time to take this beast by the horns and ride it until the end.

UNTITLED

I smell you, permeating from my skin.
My very cells, clinging to the memory of you,
Ravenous, cancerous.
Eating me inside,
Wretched + bitter,
I boil, under the sun,
My skin darkens,
Clouds gather + the effect is thunderous.
Enlightening.

I'm drowning,
Boiling,
Permeating - you.