My throat hurts, but I keep smoking. The cat lies next to me. Unperturbed that he has never been here before. My throat. So fucking raw. You thrill me with the things that you say to me spontaneously. I turn my back long enough to forget you and before I know it, you are there, with words, in my mind. Bleeding your charm into my hardened heart. I give up without a second thought. I am taken so easily to this, to you. I have nothing to lose. I would rather have one night of swoon than weeks, months of worry and guilt. The horror of "not knowing." So what will this become? - I-just-don't-care. This is enough for now. You are not my everything. You are not the reason I get out of bed, my shining sun, my glowing moon. You are he + I am she + for now. That is all I want.
Thank you for remembering.
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