BILLOW.

Another moment passes, head between thighs - trying to catch my breath
Dizziness won't pass before your return - see me sprawled upon the hard wood floor
gasping and wet from memories that collapsed my lungs
A viscous assault to the senses, ribs creaking, cracking - snap, snap goes the green stems.
[can you hear them tearing apart? your anger is wasted on this]

This dam is breaking down
God Damn - Breaking Down
trunks of trees and bamboo bridges are sodden
pushed upon this hand rail - blocking the easy flow of fresh water
that I tramp through - returning from you.

I walk home in the sunshine, straight from your bed
I sleep in the best of your presence
a safety beyond a history of violence
a safety - beyond your grasp

It's the same old story
watch my eyes - no tears?
I won't cry and you think me hardened
you've no idea,
you've none.
This is no victory.

I can break this - I can billow this timber
swell with water
I can break this heart - just watch me.



[with light there is hope]