Chi Chi.

I know that you're reading this and I want you to know that I miss you. Alot. I think about you everyday and wish that things had turned out differently. I'm writing this here becuse I can't contact you directly and say this. It hurts us both too much. I don't want to hear from you. I don't want you to hear from me. I'm healing and I know that you are too and I know that we can't heal together. I talked about losing you for the first time today. I've told people the surface story but today I talked. I let go a little bit more. I cried for you. For losing you. I felt differently about the situation we're in. I am still hurting, but it's different. Ever since that day not too long ago, something shifted inside of me. I let go of you a little more. I made a lot of mistakes, and for that I am so very, very sorry. You deserved better.


You will always have my heart. One way or another. I think in time, a long way from now, we can see one another in another light. I love you. So very much. It still consumes me. You are the most beautiful person that I have ever known. You changed my life. You saved my life from destruction again and again. You changed the way I loved. You changed my mindset. You helped me and healed me. You showed me that trust can exist. You restored my faith in humans. You sewed me back together from every tear that he had made inside of me + I made on my own skin. I can't thank you enough for that.


I miss you. I love you. I hope that you're ok. I hope for the best for you. Because you deserve it.


Wake me up if you need anything. xx