Monday, April 27, 2009

DELVE.

It gets to the point where there is no return. Should I take a breathe and delve myself in this? Brown skin against crisp white sheets. Black hands on denim, grey. I curl my body around you absorbing your heat, bringing me back to the surface. Drawing me out of this spun cocoon. There is so much there. even more than I want to acknowledge. Every time we see one another, I see subtle changes in body language, demeanor, the walls crumbling down. Lingering with fingertips. I am wary, cautious of your care.


Can I go back on everything I've worked for in the last 5 years?


The past continues to rear it's ugly fucking head and punch me in the chest, breathless my heart leaps and become sickened with the thought of those hands on another. Yet, I shy away from tying myself down. I'm hoping for the best and expecting the worst. Has anything really changed in me at all. Can I take it for what it is and learn to not take this for granted. I find it so hard to trust, the nicer you are, the warier I become. Jaded with a hatred that once choked me. This stupid fucking broken heart that I carry around with me, previously strewn across this city.



Soon, it will all come out. I'm waiting for the reaction.



I am drowning from the rush of blood to my chest.
Put your hand to my heart and apply some pressure.
Can you feel the starlight lingering in my blood stream from the evening prior?
They fell amongst the dew and anchored themselves into my heart.
I'll adorn my walls with your youthful traits, tag your name on my heart.
End every sentence with a full stop.
Take it as it comes.
Hope, and with hope there is life.

1 comment:

sophie richards said...

thank you,
i'm sure it's just a phase.