HOPE.

Hope is a funny thing.
Just when I was least expecting it - it rushed up on me this afternoon and threw itself all over me, just like a new puppy, with warm puppy breath and hot sandpaper tongue.
Saying - I love you - I'm here - I love you - I'm all yours.

Friday night was a wake up call. I need to STOP. I don't deserve to feel like that, like this.
I love - too much often enough. I sabotage, I dramatise, I break easily.
I have trouble letting go, letting off, letting it be.
I have trouble with you, like you have trouble with me.

It's strange what can trigger hope - optimism -perseverance.
Seeing someone at a bus stop - talking to a stranger.
Listening to a song - learning another's life.
Just BEING.

But hope is what I have.
Friday night was a complete write off - and now it's Tuesday.
It's now, not then.