Hope is a funny thing.
Just when I was least expecting it - it rushed up on me this afternoon and threw itself all over me, just like a new puppy, with warm puppy breath and hot sandpaper tongue.
Saying - I love you - I'm here - I love you - I'm all yours.
Friday night was a wake up call. I need to STOP. I don't deserve to feel like that, like this.
I love - too much often enough. I sabotage, I dramatise, I break easily.
I have trouble letting go, letting off, letting it be.
I have trouble with you, like you have trouble with me.
It's strange what can trigger hope - optimism -perseverance.
Seeing someone at a bus stop - talking to a stranger.
Listening to a song - learning another's life.
Just BEING.
But hope is what I have.
Friday night was a complete write off - and now it's Tuesday.
It's now, not then.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
WHITE.
Put your mouth on my mouth
Hold yourself above me
Drive away this emptiness that guts me
Blind me, drown me in the whiteness of you
Cleanse me, I feel so tarnished with the weight of this.
Stumbling, blinded by headlights, crashing to the filthy floor.
Walking - enter dark street, enter restless, careless, love less.
Hopeless.
Hold yourself above me
Drive away this emptiness that guts me
Blind me, drown me in the whiteness of you
Cleanse me, I feel so tarnished with the weight of this.
Stumbling, blinded by headlights, crashing to the filthy floor.
Walking - enter dark street, enter restless, careless, love less.
Hopeless.
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